Under Pressure.

The pictures of you made me remember a smile never seen. But the feeling of remembering is harder than being stoned and forgetting.

An adventure into foreign lands always washes away the stench of failure, in the morning everything is possible.

“Who is that girl in the picture?” Said a German guy standing behind me while I was taking a drag.
“It’s my ex-girlfriend…” I responded with smoke still in my lungs.
“Ah, she is pretty! Where is she now?”
“Back home, I guess” I exhale.
“What happened between you two?”
“I really don’t know. I just kinda disappeared…”
“Why? How?”
“I was too afraid to love…”
“Do you miss her?”
“Sometimes… Sometimes I get this clear picture of her face, her head on my belly moving up and down as I breathe and those watery eyes gleaming at me from a safe distance. She is talking about something that happened along time ago, happy memories, something about her sister or family. Her eyes light up the room as the words leaves her lips and the hours just vanish into nothing. I try to enjoy her story as much as possible before she has to leave, but the time always comes, The time when Everybody leaves.

I’m sitting here now, alone behind the backpackers with a smoking bong by my side. I’ve lost my cigarettes to the losers in life and without smoke I turn nasty and depraved. But I don’t let the small things bite me, cause there is always something to look forward to. My laptop has crashed, my phone doesn’t work and I’ve lost my shades, things like that don’t matter anymore. Because I've realized that there is more to life than smoking hash and playing video games. I feel alive in a way that seldom agrees with me, but here, the possibilities are endless. I feel that euphoric rush of endorphins every day, pumping in my veins. The only things I fear for my life, is the cold darkness. For it reveals the anguish like nothing else.