One year later.

For a man who has never completed anything in his entire life, I sure have made alot of half hearted attempts to love. Really loved and not just worshiped. Worship is easy, all it takes is spineless submission, but love, love takes courage and patience. And I think I'm finally there, crossing the invisable border between being in love and feeling real love. It is truly remarkable.

The girl returned, one sunny ossie day she stood before me once again. She had the smile of a queen I was ready to die for and later there was a party to celebrate the reunion of travelling souls. We made love that night, not as much an intercorse as just holding eachother close and feeling the intense longing slowly subside.

We have been together everyday since that day...

The Decadence.

I am a ghost now, floating around in my personal limbo. All that is left are empty rooms were people I loved used to play. The mau helps me to forget, but there are memories too strong and too precious to be forgotten.

Time is limited, I knew that before I got myself into this, I knew exactly what I was doing and still it feels so futile. People are free birds you can't cage, you can only set them free and hope that one day they'll return.

And at first, during the drama of separation, things seem so exciting and foreign, but after a day or two, the feeling disappears. It all becomes grey and foggy, no joy, no pain, just a mellow mood in which I drown myself. My emotional winter is approaching, and this time, I'm going to enjoy it...

This is Life.

I had a deja vu yesterday. It was the familiar feeling of people leaving me. So I smash a car window and I scream myself silly, all in vain, cause nothing's gonna bring my memories back.

The Second Hour.

I awake once again entangeled, two travelling strangers trying to hold on to the last moments of rest.

I had a secret meeting with Sharon earlier, we had a deep conversation about the inevitable things in life. Such as life itself and the designated death following. We rode streets on the south side of the river and experienced people giving us weird stares as we passed. Feeling like an outsider wasn't really a concern, for what me and Sharon was doing, was nothing short of a miracle.

The last day on Earth.

I've lost my ambition, I've given into the temptations of the heart. and seing as I'm heartless, nothing else matters. There's not one sentence, line or word that could change what's about to happen, the feeling of total paralysation scares the living hell out of me. One day you were a winner and two weeks later, there's nothing left to win.

It feel as if you create something so beautiful, you just have to give it away. But the people recieving it hasn't got the ability to appreciate the gift of love. And love is just a loose term, it means nothing when dealing with strangers and beautiful women. At the first kiss, my precious distance shrunk into an embrace I'd like to keep forever.

I hope that one day, the name Kirsty will mean more than all the caves I've explored, the moons I've populated and the mines that still has diamonds in them.

The Sunlight.

As the first light hits the beach of Cottesloe I find myself waking up, tangled up once again, with a beautiful woman laying on my arm. She is already awake and she is giving me the warmest morning smile I've ever recieved. It scares me to the bone, that this life, this world will be vaporized in about 72 hours. It will be gone and I will still be here...

Railway Running.

I wake up ensnared with a beautiful woman, dazed by the mau I smoked the night before and feeling this fresh morning hard on growing in my way too small underwear. All tangeled up, she carresses my remaining manhood, I purr like a cat and say: "Good morning". What can I tell you? it's a fucking amazing way to wake up.

The emotions are carrying me from place to place, from people to crazy people to more people. They are everywhere and without them around, I feel lonely and grey. It didn't used to matter, nothing used to matter, but she is starting to make everything too real and I just love it when she brakes me.

Going to bed with my heart wide open, I almost cry but not quite. Sometimes I'm just too absurd for people to hang around me. I'll say something so disgusting that people just can't look me in the eye. They just have to leave my precense.

But in time, the need to impress strangers will subseed. The pressure of trying to prove myself to the cool kids will disappear and I will finally be ale to breathe. That will be a glorious day, the day that I finally grow up.